brain tumors suck

My youngest son was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2012.  To say we were shocked, well, that's and understatement. We just thought the headaches were from the concussion he still hadn't recovered from.  A CT scan found the invader first, and an MRI confirmed its existence in my son's right frontal lobe. So, a plan was set in motion... Watch and wait.

Now, I am {not} a patient person. Not at all. So, this watch and wait plan was not one I was a fan of right from the beginning.  Yet, the neurosurgeon explained that surgery was very risky, and she was much more comfortable with watching the tumor to see if it changed before scheduling a brain surgery that very well might alter my son's personality. So, watch and wait it was.

At first, the MRI scans were done every 3 months. Then, every 6 months.  Then, we made it to 12 months. No change. The tumor remained stable.

Our most recent scan was just a couple of weeks ago.  The good news- the tumor is still stable. The bad news- it must have felt lonely because it's been joined by a second tumor. This one is actually in his skull.

We were not expecting that news.

I guess if I were to look back at the past several months, I could say yes, there were signs. He has been more irritable.  His headaches have been worse. He's been sleeping more.

Once again, the neurosurgeon wants to watch and wait, and once again, I am uneasy with this plan.

I am frustrated. I am scared. I am overwhelmed.

Brain tumors suck.